Lessons from a suicide

Yesterday, a female doctor from AIIMS committed suicide.
News report here

She had discovered that her husband was gay.

But that is not the reason she killed herself.

I read the last post on her facebook page, and here is what I learnt. At the time of the marriage she did not know her husband was gay. When she noticed he never got an erection with her, she thought it was a medical issue and hoped that he would be cured some day. Then one day she discovered a fake gmail account on her husband’s laptop and found chat conversations with men from the underground gay community. She also found links to gay porn sites and gay porn videos.

She was shocked. But even then, she was willing to ignore his homosexuality and live a life without sex because she loved her husband. But the husband’s personality changed after his sexuality was exposed. He started humiliating her and her parents, she says.

After 5 years of marriage, she killed herself.

Here’s a portion from her FB post…

In spite of knowing this I decided to help him to b as a wife with him . But he tortured me a lot mentally .
And at last night he tortured me emotionally so I am unabl to take breath with him . And last Dr xxxxx (name of husband) I loved you a lot and I return you took my all happiness from me. You are not a human being you are a devil , who take away my life from me.
If someone in our society is like him please don’t marry to a girl to save yourself , you people by doing so not playing only with someone emotions also with a girl and her family’s life .
If someone had query about me I will undergo medical examination that I never had sex . Dr xxxxx I never wanted anything from you but due to your abnormal sexuality you thought you think I need sex from you it’s wrong. I just wanted to be with you accepting you because I loved you very much but you never knew importance of this . You are a criminal Dr xxxxx of my life .



What lessons can we learn from this?


Lesson 1 : Many gay males marry females for family ‘reputation’

This is very common in Indian communities where family reputation is more important than the happiness of the children. Only when the situation becomes really bad (like suicides) does it become news, and the public gets to know. Otherwise it remains a lifelong secret.


Lesson 2 : Love is possible without sex

The FB post of the woman shows that she loved her husband deeply even after discovering that he was gay. She was willing to accept him the way he was, if even though he would never be able to get it ‘up’ with her. But unfortunately he did not love her and wanted her to go away. I have several female clients with gay husbands. In most of the cases, it was the husband who hired me for his wife who he loved dearly. Typically the husband first meets me alone in a coffee shop to ensure that I am ‘safe’ and then has his wife meet me in a coffee shop to ensure that she ‘likes’ me (while he sits a couple of tables away). Finally, if all goes well, he hires a place for us to meet. Just recently, a gay husband hired a luxurious hotel suite in a premier hill resort near Mumbai. His wife and I were in the main room, while he was in the adjoining room working on his laptop. Never once did he walk into our room or disturb us. He was just there to make sure his wife was safe, because he loved her. After a few such sessions, when they are convinced I am safe, the wife directly sets up an appointment with me, and just the two of us meet, without the husband, in a hotel room paid for by the husband’s credit card. 😉 The husband is actually glad to find somebody trustworthy like me so that he does not have to be there every time his wife meets me.


Lesson 3 : Society needs gigolos

There are countless marriages all over India, where the husband is gay but the wife still loves him and does not want to separate. Do you expect this loving wife to spend her whole life without sex? 🙁 Many wives do indeed spend their whole life without sex. A few develop a lesbian relationship with a neighbour or a family friend. In some cases, a trusted relative takes care of the business of satisfying the wife. But this relative can sometimes cause embarrassment. One client told me about an incident in which the relative got drunk at a family function and started touching her in front of her other relatives. The husband had to tactfully stop him and move him away from his wife. He had to do it tactfully because the relative had the power to slut-shame his wife since he had already slept with her. These days many couples prefer to hire a trustworthy gigolo whom they can hire, pay and forget, without fear of embarrassment in social functions.


True story. Woman takes guy home, pays him, never contacts him again.

Guys often send me their stories.

Stories of success, of missed opportunities, of scandals caused by husbands and boyfriends 🙂 and other interesting stories of their experiences.

Here’s a story that a guy sent me recently.

I am sharing it because it contains some useful lessons for any guy desiring to become a gigolo.

First listen to the guy’s story, then we discuss the lessons.


I will share 1 incident that happened with me 2 year ago. i was a student who gave exam of 12th. In a night club a lady age 35-40 years came to me and said i am cute, can we talk? So we had a conversation. she offer me drinks n after half n hour she ask me to come with her in her car to drop her to her home because she is not feeling well. At home she offerd me cup of coffee n then she disclosed that why she bringed me to her home. As i was a student i got seduced by her talks n immidiatly i said yes i will have sex with her n we had gud time. then in morning when i m getting ready to leave for my home she gave me 5000 rs. i was surprised. then she said that “yeh tumhari baksheesh hai jo tumne mujhe acha feel karaya thanks”. she gave me a small kiss on my chicks…n i leave after that. i gone to that club for many times after that but i couldnt find her or any lady like her. then one of my frnd told me that these kind of job known as gigolo. by the time i m searching for how to become gigolo but didn’t get any update on it…plz sir contct me i seriously want to become a gigolo atleast meet me once….my no. 98xxxxxxxx plz. sir please call me….


So, a woman approached this guy, took him home, spent the night with him, paid him the next morning and did not ever contact him again.

What lessons can you learn from this?

Lesson 1 : Keeping customers is tougher than finding them

The most common question I get from guys is
“Where can I find women who are looking for gigolos?”  

Guys offer to send me money in exchange for my list of clients. Guys think that the most challenging thing about being a gigolo is finding customers. Guys are sure that there are certain types of women who hires gigolos and as soon as they find these women, their gigolo careers will get launched.

Not true.

Don’t send me any money! Even if I give you my client list, it is useless if she meets you and you don’t know how to project a masculine look or body language. She will just say good bye and go away.

Even if she likes your look and welcomes you into her home or hotel room, if you don’t know how to keep her satisfied, she will never contact you again (not even if you offer your service for free).

Successful gigolos are the ones who have customers hiring them repeatedly.

Note : Btw, it is not true that only a certain type of woman hires gigolos. Every woman is a potential client if a man knows how to present himself correctly. That’s no exaggeration. I am serious. Every woman is a potential client.

Back to the story.

So if the woman was not satisfied with him, why did she pay him the next morning? Good question. That brings us to lesson # 2



Lesson 2 : Women in India are scared of being slut-shamed

Slut-shaming is the act of insulting a woman just because she enjoys sex. In our patriarchal culture, men with multiple girlfriends are seen as heroes but a woman with a single boyfriend is seen as someone with loose character. Even an illiterate bus cleaner who lived in the slums of Delhi could dare to ask an educated, working, middle-class girl like Nirbhaya why she was out with a guy so late in the night. This happens commonly to girls in India.

Though the lady in the story was not satisfied with the guy, and knew she would never hire him again, she still paid him because she wanted him to go away happy. She knew he has the power to slut-shame or blackmail her if they ever meet again at a night club. She hoped that a cash gift and a kiss on his cheek 🙂 would reduce the chances of that happening.

Potential blackmailers, please note : Guys who blackmail women don’t succeed for long. Sooner or later the woman realizes that this cannot go on for ever, and she breaks down and confides to her family or the police. After that, the blackmailer is fixed permanently. My frank advice for you is don’t even think of blackmailing a woman if you prefer your limbs intact.


Lesson 3 : When a woman finds a good gigolo, she won’t switch in a hurry

Once a woman finds a good gigolo, she usually sticks with him. This is true all over the world. It’s even more true in India where it is a scary experience for a single woman to meet many strange men and try them out one by one.

My clients stick with me, they keep hiring me repeatedly. And not just women of Indian origin, but also white British women, Australian, Danish, Finnish, American and other nationalities. Even traditional Arabic and African women from orthodox communities. Some of them fly down to India for the sole purpose of spending time with me. They check into a hotel close to the Mumbai airport, where we meet. They then fly back to their country without even entering the city.



Lesson 4 : Indian women are now spending good money

More and more successful Indian women are choosing to stay single. They are in no hurry to get married and have babies. They want to first enjoy life. Luxurious spas, overseas trips, hot fashions and cool gigolos are some of the items they don’t mind splurging on. If the woman in the story paid Rs.5K for a bad experience, she would easily pay Rs.25K (or more) for a great experience.



Lesson 5 : Your marketing should make women feel 100% comfortable

Women know that guys often have Hollywood actors’ photos on their facebook profiles instead of their own photos. They know that guys often look different in real life. So imagine her fear when she thinks of calling a gigolo over. What if she opens her hotel room door and finds that he is actually an ugly tapori guy in tapori clothes (who had put Brad Pitt’s photo on his facebook profile)? What can she do now? 🙁 Can she just say, “Sorry, you look different from your photo, I cannot hire you” ? Will he go away quietly? Or will he take offence and force himself into the room? Will he cause a scene and embarrass her in front of the hotel staff? Or will he wait outside the hotel and stalk her when she steps out? Even if the guy looks OK, and she welcomes him into the room, what if he fails to satisfy her? Can she say, “Sorry, that was a lousy experience, I cannot pay you for this” ? Will he go away or insist on the money? Will he take offence and slut-shame her? These are the questions in her mind.

Btw, remember this : She can get a lousy experience for free, any time, with one of her colleagues or friends or relatives or neighbours or even a courier man. Why should she pay good money for a lousy experience?!

Because of this fear, most women only exchange emails with gigolos but never meet the guys because they are not sure if they will like the guy and are afraid of offending him if they reject him. Then, one day, she gets an email from a gigolo who goes out of his way to make her comfortable. He clearly communicates that he does not mind being rejected. He assures her that if she does not like the look of him or if she does not enjoy the experience, he will not accept payment, but will walk away with a smile. 🙂 This makes her comfortable. She feels this guy is not egoistic and would not be offended if she rejects him. This increases the chances of her wanting to meet him, and she soon moves from emailing him to personally meeting him.


Hope this post clarified some of your misconceptions.

Some of you may be thinking : Wait a minute, in this story, the woman approached the guy. How often does that happen?! Good question. It’s not very common in India for a woman to approach directly, but it’s not impossible. My guess is that this guy is unusually good-looking or the woman is unusually brave (or she was drunk). Btw, you don’t have to be blessed with good looks to be a successful gigolo. Some of my ugly students have become more successful gigolos than my good looking students. All you need to know is how to present your masculine energy with the right fashion and body language. Of course, most important, you also need to know how to satisfy women.


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